Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
