Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize