My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
