Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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