we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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