Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wear drunk well.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
