dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
