She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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