Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
