I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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