That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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