its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
