how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
