i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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