okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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