i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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