What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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