I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
