well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
vagina is talking i cant
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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