so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
