The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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