her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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