im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
