Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
