You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
