I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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