so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
