Im at strip club and am horny
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so that wasnt chicken after all
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize