I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
