...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize