WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
