All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So many bounce houses so little time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
