Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she smelled like a LAN party
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
