The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
