there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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