I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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