My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
