She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
