he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
