My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
