i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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