my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
