i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
