It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
