So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
