She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
