He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize