Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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