white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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