I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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