i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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