There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
