This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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