suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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