i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
