Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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