let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
