When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you never un-have a 4some
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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